Just mADE A PArabola og urine
My low point of the night was when my roommate spit out her jello shot and i took it...
Last night you told her she was rocking the beer gut. Still wondering why you have that black eye?
Let's just say for some reason we thought it was okay to make a burrito smoothie.
She's riding a tiny four-wheeler and has a Dos Equis in her hand. I at least have to meet her.
I pull out like 90% of the time, but that's just to make art.
He did not appreciate the "you did reuse the diamond" comment when looking at his new fiance's ring.
I just woke up tangled in fishing line while wearing someone else's bathing suit with fishes drawn all over me. What kind of sex did we have?
There two guys dressed as FEMA workers with jump-suits that say "Post-Disaster Breast Examination Division"
We decided to keep having sex while I ordered the pizza. I wanted extra pepperoooooooooooooni.
I walked home with him, but I had to pee...so I did...as we walked. He was so drunk he didn't even notice. Good thing I was in a dress.
You'll pass into the great gay beyond
Where it rains cosmopolitans and scantily clad gogo dancers of all genders direct traffic
a homeless man let us know that my friend was asleep in the bushes outside my house on main street. So just a small get together.
We only initially bonded over boobs and sarcasm
I just smoked weed out of a tomahawk, then chased an armadillo with said tomahawk, I love my life.
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