big game today.. looking forward to seeing that magic win, and then i will celebrate with a nude dip in lake Eola.. anyone else in??
So befoe we go on this mission how reliable are you for bailing peope out of jail
someone just drove by blasting livin on a prayer and threw like 6 bagels out the window... was it you?!
Tried to steal a keytar from my hook up's house.
Also, my phone autocorrects ENABLER to all caps. I think I drunk text the word too often.
Alas, very true. I'll sell some of my eggs and give you like 10%
And with my 90% I'll get a scooter with a sidecar. And a pony. Also with sidecar.
I mean looking back on it, it's unlucky but at least now we can say we were in jail from 2011 to 2012
That's thinking positively..
I just watched our fat male neighbor dibble a soccer ball across the lawn. It looked like Baywatch with diabetes
Is it bad that I coached my cousins 6 year old boy to steal a 30 rack of keystone out of an unattended cooler at our family reunion, or was I just giving him a social head start in high school? I err on the side of awesome.
literally 50% of my time being 20 has involved my genitals thus far
He fucked me in his tour van, I feel like an official groupie.... Except I don't even listen to his band.
It's official. Post baseball sex is better than post hockey sex. I hope the Blue Jays win the world series.
that is our friendship pylon, do not lose it
fuck you.
DO NOT LOSE IT
Can u pick up some lemons on the way? I have Tequila and a sore throat..I need them for both
dude i told her that I loved her...and she said, " go fuck yourself"
Randomize
