my roommates friend slept in my bed when i was out of town..she ran out screaming cause she saw my VCR
We may have a problem that even dr. phil cant solve
At dinner I grabbed his hand and he screamed "mom she just grabbed my penis" the proceeded to shove my hand down his pants! Hello Mr.Dick!
i am exhausted. it's been years. we both know his dick is small. the jig is up.
Dude, she introduced me to her best friend form Russia and she was a 10. Her other Russian friend was even hotter. How did communism fail?
she found out just an hour ago that she might have cervical cancer. either way we're watching 50/50 and taking a shot of patron anytime anyone says cancer.
I'm hoping my engineering degree will pay off when I invent porn watching in the shower
It was kicking off big time until you crawled out the bar on your hands and knees. Nobody wanted to mess with that.
I'm a college student and my dad gets more ass than I do..... do you see a problem here?
I believe you would have been proud of me last night.. I was chasin Fireball shots with Jack and Coke. Guess there's a reason they call me Whiskey Woman.
He said he didnt want to choke me, I said im sorry thats a deal breaker.
In other news, I tore a tendon in my hand from giving my boyfriend handjobs so that's how my day is going
I feel like with a dick like that he could of done more with it
I don't want to date him...I just want him to cheat on his girlfriend with me.
I threw up soo much that I started crying. Then his grandma randomly came in and started rubbing my back...
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