do you think they make care bear costumes for cats?
is it sad that i can masturbate and get my big O just from thinking about a Tiffany engagement ring?
I don't know what I could have possibly done in a past life to deserve watching my boyfriend projectile vomit margaritas and probs blood while completely naked.
tonight i'm making a christmas tree shaped shot pyramid
i don't think my life will be extraordinarily more meaningful if i let him put his tongue in my butthole.
Just beat off to internet porn while talking to my mom on the phone and eating a cinnamon roll. U have 5 minutes to get on my level
I seriously told a stripper I would hold her hand when she goes to get ass implants.
Friends don't let friends drunk sleep in the dorm common room
our friendships a beautiful delicate flower...that has been crushed by peni
I'm pretty sure the girl in the stall next to me is waiting on me to leave so she can poop but I'm doing the same thing so it's like a Mexican standoff
Woke up, moved an empty handle of fireball to spit blood, then put the morning cigarette out in it.
Literally just sitting around waiting for someone to come along and fuck my chakras back into alignment
Fuck you and fuck your stupid hat
I found your birth control, it was in your Crown Royal bag.
sorry for the late response. was in jail for 6 months.
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