what if I'm pregnant?
smusmorshion
wake up i wanna do it froggy style
what day is it and did you see me today?
Just found 2 diff. colored pubes in my underwear..new record.
Married on the beach in PCB while blackout drunk. Bonged beers on the sandbar for a bachelor party. They shotgunned beers at the end of the vows. How is spring break allowed to happen?
woke up on the kitchen floor in the recovery position. at least drunk me remembered sober me's emt training
What's the protocol when you drive the girl's head into the wall during sex and she starts to cry?
good it was pretty cute, also what would bong water do to a puppy?
I wish you'd make everyone's lives easier and do him already. Then we can get rid of him.
I think the 8 yr old is hitting on me and they just prayed for the salvation of third world countries
you're hired as official boob wrangler
Oh goddamn. That a super downer Tuesday reality right there. Just hit me with the cold, hard, nasty facts.
All I remember is the bartender saying your sucking them down and waking up on the floor in my underwear
I wonder if my sister will drive me around while I do bong hits in the back seat..
The best part about theater chicks is nothing is too cliche or out of line. I just fucked her Braveheart style in my entry way while saying goodbye.
Randomize
