and im sitting here waiting for them to work on my car. in a room full of men. that are too old for me. its like a sausage fest nightmare...
I think he'd cut a tree down for me. He's from North Dakota. That's something hot guys do there, right?
can your parents tell?
i just had a cookie in one hand and a phone in the other and tried to eat my phone...they know
Fuck him. I'll set him on fire for you. Then we'll see how good of a firefighter he is.
hey, this is the drunk ass freshman from last night. thanks alot for helping me out last night, i'd probably be on some lawn if it wasn't for you guys! and my mom says thanks for talking to her
I'm the only adult here not drinking and their 2 year old daughter is trying to play dolls with me.. I've never been so demoralized in my life.
Yeah, but there's no serving sizes for dick.
I think that the winner of this years fantasy football league should get naming rights to you child
Did you blow the guy you weren't supposed to hook up with again in the bathroom of pita pit? Cause that happened last night...
did i really sing to your nipples last night?
yes. and it was oddly very seductive
On duty sugar tits. A Marine never abandons his post to take nudi pics.
That was the second worst thing to happen to my asshole.
Just had a customer call his drug dealer in front of me but act like it was normal call.
Looks like I accidentally stole two of your beers and left my pants at your place.
How did you leave without pants?
I've seen your dick too many times for both of us to be straight.
Randomize
