Getting drunk in a different country is not a good idea. Lets just say spanish women, 17 yr olds from missouri, prostitutes, and a poodle. I don´t want to leave spain.
if you google earth my address you can see me getting out of my car. finally my moment of being famous
I just watched a blind kid buy from one of the vending machines on campus...guess there's nothing like a good surprise?
Fun Fact: The stage were about to graduate on is where we once drove a van and kidnapped someone.
Fun Fact 2: My parents are sitting by the bushes I peed in this weekend.
There are regrets in my world today- mostly jager at that fucking altitude
2011 senior yearbook drinking game. we're taking a shot whenever some dumbass uses that quote about how life isn't isn't about the breaths you take, but the moments that take your breath away. also that retarded wayne gretzky one about missing shots you don't take.
If you do that, i will make all sorts of uncomfortable comments about my nipples being soft
It is completely possible to eat beef jerky sexually.
Some guy just ate one of the dog treats. I have him a free beer. I love my job.
we told you you couldn't get your dick sucked because you were a girl and you yelled at us and said we were 'discriminating you'
I JUST SAW MY THERAPIST OUTSIDE OF WORK AND I DONT KNOW THE ADULT THING TO DO
Ryan. I woke up. At the neighbors house. And by the neighbors. I mean the ones to the north. The ones that hate us. Please call me. I am so confused and you are gone
At the neighbors house?! Like in it or outside???
In it on the fucking couch. No idea how i got here.
Welp, no use in crying over spilt milk. I can't unbang her.
On another note, I think my upstair neighbor is having sex. How awkward would it be if I showed up to her door with a bag of Chipotle?
Why did I wake up with a half-eaten burrito and a vaccuum cleaner in my bed? ...on top of me.
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