I just cut my nipple shaving
I am like the Mr. Miyagi of queefs.
stop calling my apartment porn island.
I like how you try to look sexy and just end up looking like a weird boy.
Well yea but it's the principle of the thing.. The fact that he could actually BE your daddy
She just shoved like three McNuggets in her mouth and started sobbing and I have no idea what's going on.
Just witnessed a fat waitress doing whipits in the back of a waffle house.. my life seems a little brighter..
If it meant we had chicks like that every weekend I would gay marry the shit out of you dude
I no longer believe that the road to self esteem is through his penis.
The fact that it was "anything but a cup" now explains the cowboy boots and fishbowl aftermath at the apartment.
He called my boobs fluffy. Part sexy part pilsbury dough boy. Part sexy pilsbury dough boy. I'm so confused. And flattered?
Need to find a Santa hat to fit my penis, he deserves to be festive too.
I just had a visual of u banging and screaming at him at the same time.
idk what to be more embarrassed/confused about, that i lost my underwear or that i woke up covered in fried rice
You're lucky I'm holding your vagina in my best interests
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