i was just at lovers lane looking for gifts for a bachelorette party.....with my mom
every time i send "do you want some cock" to her T9 manages to change it to "anal"...i think she's mad now
I dont ever wanna see you tell my little brother to "spread the seed" ever again
i'll give you all the meat in my fridge in exchange for 2 condoms.
For some reason fuck navy didn't go over quite as well as say fuck michigan;
i've been thru my totinos phase. then after reading the ingredients and nutritional info i almost puked in my mouth. its like having the bastard child of pizza hut and mcdonalds invade your kitchen and start stabbing your digestive system.
I take it we used my cleavage as a pen holder last night during the graffiti party. Looks like the colours of Crayola exploded all over my chest
She acts like a 3 year old but with fantastic tits. This girl is the reason women are objectified
BECKY! ITS ANDY FROM LAST NIGHT WITH THE PILL
Andy, Sorry you have the wrong number. But good luck with Becky!
We don't have the same problems as normal people do we?
I don't work there anymore. If they had Prince themed dildo parties i never would have quit
Dude. I keep thinking about how I let a man gum my vagina.
Took an adderall for the first time in a few weeks. Spent 45 minutes peeling an orange TO PERFECTION.
I just destroyed that poor boy. Picked him up and put him wherever I wanted, it was like the Pride version of Elf on a Shelf.
he made that chewbacca noise when he came. like father like son i guess.
Randomize
