Forgive me I'm always horny when I wake up
I hope you get the herp and dife. The emd.
You feel like going out tonight?
Does a 14yr-old girl look good beat up? I'll bring the handle
yup put them legs up on your shoulders and eat her like some folgers
eat her like coffee?
I wish there was a classy way to show off your boobs.
Let me start this apology by saying you were the finest piece of ass I ever had.
I know. he thinks we're 'meant to be'. No we're fucking not. God wouldn't give my soulmate a pencil dick.
Did he seem like the type of guy that would maybe take weed as payment?
You rolled around on the floor, yelled about being a "half-zombie" and bit that guy on the leg who was hitting on me.
We hooked up in his car and afterwards he cried. I think I need to find a new hookup...
I'm full of champagne and rage, of course I'm showing up at his house.
Do you remember telling our cab driver you were going to fuck a penguin?
He and I are in a competition of who can sleep with the most people at work. We're tied at two. I could win this if they'd stop hiring damn straight girls.
the amount of 23-year-old guys who have seen me naked is starting to get a little worrying
I want to ride his face like a jet ski
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