yay america 4th of july drinking game. take a drink every time you hear or see a firework, finish your drink for a mention of mj or the gosselins, a shot for the words democracy,hope, freedom, terrorism
Just invented new drinking game watching Hocus Pocus... everytime they say "virgin" wetake a shot and yell out "to j****"
chinese tourists just took a picture of me....im pretty sure i heard the bus drive say something about shame.
You can come over, sure. But I'll be watching college hockey during the blow job.
The bartender just asked me if I owned stock in Jameson. I've been here for less than an hour and he's already judging me.
Think I just saw your homeless guy on High Street. Did you give him back his crutch?
bringing my vibrator into the shower with me. if I don't text back in 30 minutes I have electrocuted myself and died.
May the force be with you.
You know how I said I'd never worry about my roommate? Well I just walked in on her masturbating to Star Trek.
Did she boldly cum where no one has cum before?
He ate the contents of an ashtray and didn't puke, I think he can handle drinking a fifth to himself.
I knew you were super hungover. But so hungover you fire our house cleaner because her vacuums too loud is excessive
You know you're too high when you find yourself crying at " hand in my pocket" by Alanis Morissette because it's "just TOO REAL"
He also ordered me a vibrator last week, so the flowers kind of balance it out
How many more times can I say I need to get laid before you kill me?
When your job has killed your spirit to the point that you don't want to flirt with the cute, tall guy at Enterprise
GIRL PLEASE. GO BACK AND POP THE TITTY OUT
On the brightside we know now that empty pringle cans are accepted at mcdonalds as cups.... Screw people who judged us, we saved a buck
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