he just told me his nickname was "nickexplodeon"
does that mean he doesn't last long?
Let's go to weight watchers and eat in front of them.
I drank almost a whole fifth last night. Woke up with blood everywhere wearing a "stereotype this" tshirt. How fitting
I woke up face down on my laptop with three windows open: itunes, chat roulette and redtube
My last memory involves me naked in a mens's bathroom stall. I really hope my date was with me.
Easy Mac is falling out of my sweatshirt as I'm walking down the street.
What are you wearing tonight?
The colors of the winddddddd
We called dibs on each other's genitals. That bond is unbreakable.
That pizza at 1 am literally tasted like I was eating an angel
Should I take a fireball shot or brush my teeth?
Every time you talk about your facial hair I immedately get horny
Don't you hate falling asleep on the couch with a glass of wine in your hand? It's like dreaming about peeing and then realizing you've peed the bed only stickier.
Stop getting drunk and running away. I can'tell chase you. Iim in heels and have big boobs. Running is a bad idea for me.
You know I base where I go on the likelihood of me getting laid there. This includes work.
Jarrod's passed out on the chair with a cup of milk and I've been staring him down in an attempt to use telepathy to make him spill it. Attempts unsuccessful.
Randomize
