Spring semester is just not the same w/o you
I just saw Sharon Stone's cootch in high def. I think I'll stay gay.
you know you've been in a long relationship when u start retiring sex toys
If Andre Agassi did Crystal Meth, what was John McEnroe doing?
Just threw up in the garbage can outside the liquor store... I'm pretty sure that's some sort of distress signal.
I just couldn't help myself when there was a FOUNTAIN OF SHOTS
so i may have indirectly taught my 13 year old campers how to give blowjobs.
I feel like I just walked the hall of shame thru the marriott. Everyone stared.
I think it was the shoes and limping. Not the sex. I could b wrong.
Biggest penis I've ever pity fucked
Yeah i'd say someone being in the room while you're doing someone makes them eligible for fb friendship
I smell like lime and condoms and I really want a waffle. Fuk
I left her alone for a few minutes and she's already using a guy on his hands and knees as a chair while another guy is serving her margaritas.
my roommate was being a bitch so I changed my Netflix password on her. 21st century slap in the face ladies and gentleman
You screamed out "happy birthday Jesus" followed by chugging Bacardi straight out the bottle
I've just realized that today's rations have consisted of turkey bacon and jack Daniels.
Randomize
