everytime someone famous vagina shows up in pics, i have to go check my own vagina to make sure mine dont look all wrinkledy and flabby like that....i want my lips plump and succulent
The Shake Weight not only toned my arms but significantly improved my hand job form and efficiency.
I still can't figure out why that's not in the commercial.
I'm like cupid
You're a whore with a bow and arrow
Um, yeah. You lit my birthday candles with a joint. Mom= not happy.
Drunkenly auctioned off my bed for 3 tequila shots
You spent most of the night crying and throwing leftover meatballs at the neighbors dogs
Somehow those two combined like captain planet and shit went haywire
So feel off my bed lastnight into the trashcan. On the plus side i thought under my bed was a cave and i went exsploring
It would be awesome if I knew whose teeth these were in my pocket
He said he didnt want to choke me, I said im sorry thats a deal breaker.
Bjs and tacos. That's my life.
Can't find my wig, my underwear, or my dignity. Halloween 2016
I am luring the porn star to my house with chicken!
She's licking the vodka she spilled off the desk
Aaaaand now she's drinking it out of the shot glass like a cat
don't think less of me for this, but i'm pretty sure he did a line off my boob last night.
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