he's afraid if he sleeps with me i'll go all lavender brown on him
i've never heard her scream louder than when the koreans scored. what am i lacking in bed?
so when he was about to cum, he screamed his mother's name and continued to pray for forgiveness. wtf
So they're giving me a CT scan because I probably have a hernia. From getting a BJ from you. Really. This may be a pivotal moment in my decision to write a book about my life
once you started introducing yourself as "running-bear" i knew you were beyond fucked up
It's a self-perpetuating puke chain.
Maybe STDs were invented to keep stupid people from having kids.
Apple should advertise that their phones are puke-proof. They would appeal to a whole new audience.
You're fine
I'm hiding in my chest because my walls smell weird. I'm not fine.
We fucked in my trunk while on the clock....what did you do at work today?
Night one million where I have madri gra beads around my neck and no justifiable reason for where they came from
If you kill yourself you won't get to feel that feeling when you have a good shit in the morning. Arent you gonna miss that?
You're doing screenings before you set me up again- no child sized dicks allowed.
I let him stay at my place since i had to work early and when i got home there was a fruit snack wrapper in my bed. I dont have any fruit snacks. Which means he brought his own fruit snacks to the fuck session.
I found a 9 minute video on my phone of you singing into an eggplant.
Randomize
