When the moon hits your eye like a big pizza pie, you're a dumbass
i woke up to my roomate hitting me in the head with a can of PBR at 8:30 in the morning...i love spring break
she peed on how many people?
I don't have any food so I made a martini so I could eat the olives. Don't tell me I can't think outside the box.
Only way we know if he truly fits in is if we spill straight vodka on the floor and his first instinctnis to lick it up. Otherwise, gameover.
He managed to scream "cowabunga bitch" before he went down on me. Let me know if you still like him.
I think god is proud of me so he is rewarding me in discounted wine
First day of class and I'm in a bar drinking pitcher #3. Foreshadowing?
I go to a class slightly intoxicated and they bring in a baby. What a life.
Can we play rock paper scissor shot again? I want to black out in 15 minutes or less...
I actually cannot wait for your visit. I miss people who make me look like the virgin mary in comparison.
The sad thing was my husband told her its ok to make out with me. Bar Tuesdays will live on regardless.
I HOPE YOU ENJOY THIS VDIEPO BECAUSE I AMS ENDIONG A LOKT OF EFFORT RECORIDNG IT
I ONLY PARTIALLY KNOW WHAT YOU SAID. BUT I THINK I WILL LIKE IT.
I effort
You wouldn't eat with utensils. You insisted on making your own spoon out of a bendy straw and staples while singing "I'm a survivor" by Destiny's Child.
Just stalked the girl I hooked up with last night's boyfriend. He seems nice, I approve.
Randomize
