Help i just walked in on mom blowing dad
i just renamed my vag "the sorting hat"
hanging on that rope, lady gaga looks exactly like a used tampon
all i know is that if they can hide that much blood in her outfit, they definitely could have hid a penis
i feel like a lion cub that has been breast fed for years, and mom has left, and now i have to learn how to hunt on my own
So, halfway through sex he stops and starts crying. He said he's worried god hates him for all his bad decisions...think he meant to imply I was one of them...
i ran around the party telling everyone that my favorite sexual position was also the only position that made me queef...i kept calling it the "double edged sword"
she gave me one of those friendship bracelets and said as long as I wore it it was like an all-access pass to her vagina
Just saw a drunk guy clapping and cheering for a chipmunk climbing up a tree. Classic
You know me. im down for anything that could harm my well being. lets dress like dolphins so everyone will see what dicks they are.
We work out, have really intense sex, and then eat cereal marketed for children. We have a system, okay?
In other news, Justin Bieber has a big dick and that makes me uncomfortable.
he asked if he should bring the trash can into the room.. apparently i shoved my finger all over his face and said.. shhhh dont talk... just take your pants off.
It's a novelty for anyone to see a girl like me in a skirt like this milking a cow
So how was it?
The cemetery or the sex?
You are, as of last night, the self declared king of pooping. Long may you reign.
Randomize
