And no, shaving doesn't make it look bigger, either
I just saw a fat chick walking across campus talking to herself and licking her lips. Diet season is scary.
I mean what are real friends for if they won't hold down your wedding dress to allow for a keg stand
Just so we're on the same page, we cannot have been the first people to have ever thought about shooting that guy with crossbow
I fell asleep while we were Skyping and woke up to his balls bouncing in front of the camera while he sang "Wakey Wakey!" over and over again. Merryfuckingchristmas.
I don't know what possessed you to do that, but you have to give the stripper more money before you try to check her oil or they are going to throw us out every time you do that.
It took him 5 seconds to cum and then he wanted to hold my hand all night
I wanna get freshman fucked up and do shady things on the last Friday of my youth.
He told me the color of his piss. Worst. First date. Ever.
Aaaaand now he just flexed his muscles at me and said "I'm a fucking eagle!"
I DESERVE A BEADED TATTOOED MAN I'VE WANTED ONE FOR SO LONG
BEARDED TATTOOED MEN ARE PEOPLE AND NOT THINGS TO BE GIVEN FREELY
Had a dream I cut my own dick off. That's it I gotta see a doctor...
Umm
Exactly.
I was just dry heaving outside of the Chem building when a guided tour walked by. Welcome to the Maritimes kids...
I just wanna fuck your brother. Sorry if thats a crime.
I think I kinda scared him when I tried to wrap his snake around his dick while he was trying to nap.
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