I fucked **** last night, don't tell mike
this is mike. we're done.
I just spent an hour correcting all the grammar and spelling of all the 2pac songs on my ipod
As a matter of fact my bong is named Hulkamania brother
is it sad that i can masturbate and get my big O just from thinking about a Tiffany engagement ring?
Maury Povich's contact info is in our database at work...i should steal it right?
Just made a pepperoni sandwich with cheese, mayo, and pickles. Poverty is like pot, without the happy feeling.
just a heads up, there may or may not be a mailbox full of the leftover beer on the table in your basement.
merry christmas to all and to all I give the mystery rash.
It looks like a tornado ripped through our living room and scattered clothes everywhere.
Count the bras. It was a category 3 whorenado ... I convinced the lesbians to come back to the apartment for a bottle of wine.
I just did the walk of shame..with a blanket and a cup that says i will out drink all you bitches. This was not how i pictured 25.
so I found out I could dislocate my shoulders on demand while I was trippin on e last night...
But I'm currently thinking of all my bad decision making last night and giving myself a time out.
If he doesn't get here soon I'm taking off my thong and eating his dinner.
Two guys I banged regularly got married this week. I need vodka.
Christ I forgot how flexible you need to be for a decent sext pic. Jesus.
Randomize
