We may have a problem that even dr. phil cant solve
Nah, lets use your guy, my drug dealer is going all pineapple express on me
hey..i found a takeout box with a half-eaten hamburger in it, the box said to text this number if found...
dude, there's a fucking musical in my head. it's fucking awesome being this high.
He makes me wish my vagina was bigger... This must be what love feels like.
There's nothing like telling your girl to hold your pants while peeing on your neighbors door
My internship group is made up of all freshman. Their enthusiasm for education and social interaction sickens me.
On the plus side, I got cel phone video of a major fox news host doing coke.
I need to stop getting in the car with my dad when im rolling balls. I think he's starting to notice my eyes aren't usually completely pupil
As soon as the clock wound down to zero, she declared "HALF-TIME HEAD" and pulled down my pants. After the swallow, she said "BEER CHASER," got me a new one, and asked if she could make me a sandwich. Pretty sure she's lobbying hard for a ring.
I wanna snuggle with you as we feed each other chipotle burrito bowls and that's just where I'm at right now
How many fucks given?
0.12846
I figured if he was OK cheating on his gf with a guy, he'd be OK with me posting his number to m4m Craigslist Ads
Puked in the trash can. Took a bite of someone's breadstick and kept dancing and drinking
I just took a shot before my midterm. Gotta keep things in perspective.
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