so I'm never txting u again after today...
y?
cuz i don't wanna see it on blogspot :)
ha...too late
just bought miller high life, hungry man dinners, and a bottle of lube. you win life, you win.
How do I say to her "Have you eaten mango lately because my penis had an allergic reaction"
So one buddy got tackled at the urinals by national guard members and was arrested. Another had sex in a port o potty with possibly the drunkest girl I've ever encountered. The rest of us blacked out and won a few bets. So yes, the derby did meet our expectations.
Just to give you a heads up, I am going home with your ex-boyfriend.... You can't be mad because he was my ex-boyfriend first
I think being an adult is being able to say no to free shots...I need to work on that.
He told me about how he pissed his pants last weekend like it was a normal part of conversation. Within 10 minutes I was going home with him. I think he put me under some kind of spell.
You know how most people would take your keys when they don't want you to leave a party? Those 2 girls aren't most people. They took my pants instead.
He goes "hi, free today?" WHEN AM I EVER FREE ON A SATURDAY, I GOT HUNGOVER TO BE AND DRUNK TO GET.
If you're wondering why you have playpen balls it's because we stopped at chuckie cheese on the way home.
Yeah, but he has adorable dimples and dimples talk me into things.
Are you drunk texting me again or are you just being your regular stupid self?
yes
well, you know. whores of a feather.
He looks like a Mormon from a lifetime movie. Oddly I wanna give him a hand job
Forget work, lets run away, rob banks, and have kinky sex with fuzzy handcuffs.
IT'S LIKE YOU READ MY MIND.
Randomize
