I can text with my tongue
I just got a ticket for shitting on a sand dune.
Of course im so fucked up sarah. I fight away tornadoes.
If my boyfriend wants to eat his own jizz after masturbating, what does that make him?
Let's roleplay tonight. I'll be drunken diva and you be sexy sober.
IF that's your way of making me dd then count me out.
mid puke you looked up at me and asked if it was your turn to sing
I've done unspeakable things to your penis. I have every right to give it a name.
I jumped on his cock in 2 seconds flat. Thanks mom for sending me to gymnastics when I was a kid.
I'm not leaving bed today. And i guess my drunken ass last night hit my roommate in the face with a tiki torch then proceeded to cry while carrying around a picture of he who must not being name. I'm a piece of work.
Went home drunk last night and peed on my Christmas tree, my mothers going to fucking kill me
I blew him while the canoe was sinking...I think of it as the better version of the titanic
Lo siento on account of my penis...
We had sex and then ordered pizza after. This relationship is looking good so far.
He fucked me harder than I've ever been fucked before and afterwards he started crying and profusely apologizing to god and baby Jesus for his sin.
You kept saying, "please sir, can I have some more."
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