oh my god I didn't know your sister was this good at french kissing
I totes stole your whore crown.
With great power comes great responsibility.
Is it bad that we're talking like nothing happened?
Ah. Blossoming love after wild blackout drunk sex.
She just took the bottle of jager to the bathroom and locked the door. Now I hear the water running..if the house floods she's paying for it
Well I'm 2 for 2 with the absinthe, I just woke up in some random car behind the bar
Someone want to explain the bottle of ranch I found in my pants
During your work shift I was either: a) stoned. b) high. c)stoned. or d) high.
That's why we don't trade sex for Taco Bell. It's called the dollar menu.
You made out with him a lot. Almost as much as you told everyone Paul was the zamboni guy.
Did you take the bag w/your drugs & cookie cutter?
Uh oh we had sex and I don't think I like him anymore help
Sitting on the toilet ... Eatin pizza with one hand, petting my cat with the other. I love a sad drunken life
Steven and I talked about running for office again today. It's fucked that my 3 dream jobs are marijuana bakery owner, bar owner, and president.
I'm not gonna lie, but for some reason I have this strong desire to watch porn with my pint of haagen das.
How many weight watcher activity points do you think sex is worth?
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