I have to get up uber early tomorrow. Which is why I started drinking early today
Yeah true. Damn vaginas. They're ruining the world.
Did we have sex last night or did we just wake up naked covered in oil?
We shouldn"t be alone together
you didn"t say that yesterday
you weren't married yesterday
Jason and steven are boiling shrimp in the microwave again
Why did I wake up holding food tongs?
Blacked in riding a tandem bicycle with a stranger. We stopped for hot dogs.
"can of pringles" is totally a legitimate measure of time
I'm pretty sure "tag teaming" and "looking for stability" are not synonymous.
Not yet.
The bartender charged us for drinks. Life is different.
That would be an interesting position... Not entirely certain how that'd work!
Gravity is no match for my libido
Let's get matching tattoos, something that resembles our friendship
A tequila worm?
I was walking out the front door and heard his roomate say "It looks like you need a chiropractor." I think my work here is done.
I just walked through the door and she ran up to me, hugged me, unzipped my pants and immediately started sucking my dick. Good day.
Bahahah I should. I’m the free range drunk girl who should clearly not be free range because who knows what kind of fuckery I would get into
Randomize
