Think about all of the events that have led to this: me sitting in the back of my classroom drinking beer out of a taco bell cup, telling the teacher I have to leave early to go to an AA meeting.
I am not hooking up with him just to see what his penis looks like.
My mom and I were trying to explain to my sister what an uncircumcised penis looks like. We had some minor disagreements.
We left at the same time. You got home three hours after I did and said you got your head stuck in a fence. I can't believe you don't remember this.
he actually managed to pick a girl up by telling her that her skirt was ugly and she didnt do a good job with her makeup. thats some seriously low selfesteem
You need 4-7 business day to recover from a fingering like that.
Tough to be a good wingman when you puke on yourself and everyone w/in a 5 ft radius at the FIRST bar we go to so don't tell me to step my game up
you were holding her above your head singing Circle of Life in what i assume was a Simba reference. then she smacked her head on a bar light and the bouncers kicked you out
Apparently fireball doesn't mix well with my no carb diet
Random pof guy just messaged me initiating a Pokemon battle. Want to be a bridesmaid?
FUCK IM ABOUT TO GET A DICK PIC IN THE LIBRARY
No he doesn’t answer my texts except for like on New Year’s Because like I was fucked up on New Year’s and he said happy new year and I told him the same and I called him dragonslayer and you can’t really recover from that
So I said "fuck it" and made myself a sandwich
i woke up with a shamrock tattoo on my wrist and a fat bruise on my hipbone. please tell me its not real.
Standing straight up with intensity he came in his own mouth. I know this because he showed me the video from five different angles when asked if I would like him to demonstrate. And I did.
Randomize
