Omg I def was not. I wasn't that drunk. I showed that I stuff my bra but I didn't whip my tit out.
Ive never seen someone more dtf than a soaking wet drunk girl who stumbles into your backyard.
just had an encounter with drunk people from out of state at dairy queen. they wanted to stay till march to see the high school play.
she said, "is it ok if I touch it?" that's when I knew I was in trouble... I knew she was a virgin but seriously..
So recap time do u remember biting that girls hand?
...But it's not like we would be the first people to pay for an abortion with student loans and cell phone rebates.
Mitt romney looks like a fantastic lover (full disclorsure: im 76% vodka right now)
Your grammar in that last text message was so awful.. My vagina wants to go crawl in a hole, and never speak to you again.
You should hear the lecture my mom just gave me about cooking pizzas when im drunk because "I could have died".
He let me keep my Michael Jordan Bulls jersey on during sex.
I'm wearing a utility belt filled with alcohol
Sex in the moonbounce later?
This is why I love you.
All I need is to get out and get laid
Yeah mom sounds like a good idea! Now send that message to the person it was ment for
I'm literally trapped as the little spoon on a mattress on the floor of an unfinished basement with a professional athlete snoring in my hair
Some guy is here to get laser hair removal on his balls. I hate my job.
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