Maybe if you date her you can take a dump on her
we just ha sex. he lasted two minutes. i told him to leave because i had class
isnt today saturday?
watching law and order svu marathons. all of the sex crimes cases start like my sat night.
Highlight of the day: realizing the man in the car next to mine was getting road head... at 2:45pm... nicely done sir, nicely done.
Okay Im going to go have some sex apparently. I hope this chick is prepared the zero effort Im going to put into it.
im celebrating the fact lent is over and i can give blow jobs again.
Well I'm 2 for 2 with the absinthe, I just woke up in some random car behind the bar
i ordered 6 shots "to go" what did you think was going to happen!
Get you some cowboy.
In that sentence you are the cowboy. That is not saying you should get a cowboy for yourself.
And I'm only telling you that because I really wanted to use 'my boyfriend' and 'dick biscuit' in the same sentence.
No one understands the complete and utter debilitating 3 day bday bender.
I asked her how many times she came and she said "Oh god I can't count that high, Rutgers doesn't teach us that."
My dry spell starts kindergarten this fall...
They grow up so fast.
I AM GETTING LAID TONIGHT YES HAPPY DAY PRAISE JESUS ALMIGHTY IN HEAVEN DEAR GOD CHRIST YES DADDY YAAASSS
Is there a number of dicks a girl can have in a weekend before it becomes unacceptable? Asking for a friend
Remember! It’sa long weekend and a holiday weekend and it’s America’s birthday! So don’t short change me!
I thought you were asking for a friend
Randomize
