doesn't he have a GF?
that just means you have to try harder.
i didn't have to try TOO hard, just told him i didn't want to know his name or...
I decided that not getting a job after college is gods way of telling me I will make a great housewife
awesome recipe for disaster- bar hopping at the airport
Accidentally just signed something at work 'lotus flower' I need to keep my stripper life separate from real life.
I really wish you were half the slut you're sister was in college
Gong!
YOU'RE MARRIED NOW YOU CAN'T KEEP GONGING ME WHEN YOU GET LAID IT DOESN'T COUNT
Finished my senior thesis. How am I celebrating you ask? By drinking gas station white zif out of an empty candle holder by myself. I fucking deserve to graduate.
I ripped my favorite jeans crossing that fence
That sucks
It's an upgrade! I didn;t even have to unzip my pants to pee!
You just said the word 'slut' out loud in your sleep and then made a moaning noise
About 98% sure I just walked by some dude jerking it in the library. I'm guessing his college experience isn't going as planned
I'm going to book club and then I'm going to get laid. Being in your 20s ain't so bad sometimes.
let’s face it, me joining a co-ed soccer league is like, 33% motivated by my crotch seeking a healthy outlet
My grandma just invited me to gate crash a funeral for the free food. Priorities.
woke up this morning to a baggy full of adderall and two redbulls..i'm gonna marry this guy one day
That would involve putting on clothes and I don't think I can face that right now.
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