would you ever date a girl who drove an 89 Chrysler LeBaron? - for the record it's a convertable
I just told this girl who bought a pregnancy test "good luck"
Omg you had literally better be on fire, drowning, and being crucified all at the same time to be calling me at 7:30 in the goddamn morning.
I thi k this dude I fcken showed up to the bar in a raisins shirts. I thought I was better than that. Fuckkkk.
Tried to figure out where I was without opening my eyes this morning for like twenty minutes. Not even close. Not even the right state.
you are dancing on the line between undergrad and alcoholic.
I've seen people win free drinks for a lot less dude, no need to drop trou on a piano.
If you die first, I'm going to sleep with a pallbearer at your funeral.
2 hours later, she made her cat watch the waterfall scene from Homeward Bound to teach her how good she has it here.
How frowned upon is it to take your vibrator into the tanning bed...because Operation: dripping wet is in full swing and I have a busy schedule
He spent like 5 minutes figuring out how best to position me so I would still be able to watch the game. Maybe there is a benefit to dating a guy who cares about me but doesn't care about my team.
Pretty sure this is the part where you go buy a ring.
See, this is why we give you shit. Ashley gets her car cleaned out, I get multiple enchiladas made, and you get cum in your eye.
First contact since we had sex and it's to get my HBO password. I sure pick winners huh
I'm drunk listening and crying to Selena. How's your Monday?
There's a Russian superstition that you'll spend your year the way you celebrate New Year's, so I'm honestly not that surprised you're drunk.
Randomize
