I was born with a shot glass in my hand
i'm gonna start putting 34DD under other qualifications on my bartender applications and see if that helps
After skinny dipping in your pond, I think me and tequila have added a whole new dynamic to our relationship.
Single handedly the worst sex I've ever had just went down. Its like we both laid there after word-less thinking about the other " could they be any worse in bed" ?
So many bounce houses so little time
Somebodaw call 311 postw fire bunso on vietena floorwnkd
He just showed me a video of his erect penis moving to the beet of the music when he was high, I think I'm in love.
Legitimate logistical question....how did you pee in your duct tape dress?
My head feels like a nest made of hair and cum
Text me back. Urgent. It is a porta Keep the portal alive.
Is this the acid talking?
hahahaha what do we need the kangaroos for? please tell me we release them instead of doves
I feel like Jeremy snapchattong while we're fucking is a perfect example of our generation..
I just had a spiritual connection with my sweater and did ballet in the hallway. Alone. I'd say we're gonna chalk that up as a win for marijuana and call it a night
Well I just finished dry heaving so I think breakfast is a little further out for me
There are regrets.. and there are RAGRETS
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