the shit that comes out of a woman's mouth when she knows you can't hit her is fucking unbelieveable
She looked kinda like Mario Batali?
I'm so hungover, I actually considered rolling down the stairs to avoid walking.
he keeps calling me but I'm too scared to answer... Not sure what he's gonna yell at me for: barging into his room while he was with another girl, filling her shoes with dog food and water, or hiding his keys in the garbage disposal.....
My mom walked down and caught me drinking by myself, watching the nanny at 3:30AM. I had no idea what to say
This whole living in Ohio thing is getting reaaaaallly old.
hypothetically speaking is slutty or smart to buy plan b before we go on spring break so i dont have to get it in mexico
we got hammered off table wine and i ended up biting my acrylic nail off so i could finger his butt.. ill never look at valentines day the same
All those movies are bullshit, there is no way to run down a line of parked cars, they`re too far apart. my faces hurts so much right now
dude, i just found out morgan freeman loves weed. all my moms arguments are now irrelevant
I guess I can check "drink alone in the dark" off my bucket list
You were drinking tequila through a straw.. and kept waving your arms at me and getting this intense stare down as you muttered something about jedi mind tricks.
reminiscing on last night: why the fuck did I feel the need to stand on chairs everytime we took a jello shot?
Let's just face it you're going to have an arrangement with your future wife your fuck me on Thursdays
i know were having a "heart to heart" right now, but does it make you feel uncomfortable that im sexting someone right now?
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