Saw some pubes in our toilet, hope the new look works out tonight.
what's Bukake?
a bad idea.
remember what we learned. dont lure girls w/ food at the bar. u dont want those ones
We should make a goal to do one active thing a day, even if its like throwing a ball
And by ball i mean playing catch. Beer pong does not count as an activity
lets be honest. she's not NEARLY as much fun to fb creep since she got out of rehab...
Idk tell her to wear something sluttty. I have that one skirt I got arrested in if she wants to borrow?
2012 needs to end already. I've exceeded my quota for People Who Have Accidentally Seen My Tits.
You were upset that she was flirting with your boyfriend so I thought the best game plan was to show her my boobs and get her to make out with me instead. I am the greatest friend on absinthe.
I just made a drug deal 100% through snap chat
Celebrated Veteran's Day by getting a Marine (who just got back from deployment in the middle east) drunk and laid for the first time in 6 months. #Murica
At the light, his mom pulled up next to us while I was giving him road head. He forgot to tell me she was meeting us at the movie. So long story short, I convinced her I drove myself, pick me up in 20.
The first thing my Christmas gift money is buying is a dildo.
Between his smile and monumental dick even the virgin mary woulda blown that man and I am far from the virgin. I didn't stand a chance.
What better than a girl who loves jager, sexts like a champ and is down for t-bell at any hours of the night? oh wait, NOTHING.
Heels with jeans turned Casual Friday into Casual Sex With My Boss Friday
Randomize
