Ok let me ask a question, does aderall make women less apt to have sex?
Cause it just destroys penises
Was that inappropriate? I can't gauge these things anymore
No, computers are like whores. moody bitches that cost too much and no matter how much protection you have you can still get a virus
Sometimes, when I'm driving alone I talk to myself in a Russian accent so I think it's my mommy and it calms me down.
I have the worst farts today, I'm walking by the cubicles of people I don't like and leaving them surprises. Brb.
you announced to everyone at the bar "fuck girls. they're confusing. im gonna start having sex with boys now"
He snuck out of bed at 9 am and came back with pizza and a bottle of wine. I think I'm in love!
4 months of living in europe has taught me the art of making a drunken stumble look like a dance move
Would you wanna look up as you cum and for a split-second see your dad?
it's my favorite when the couple downstairs are having sex so loud that i feel like I'm part of a threesome
second-hand sex is fun, isn't it?
Yeah man it sucked balls. People on the bus probably thought I was fucking crazy. I was fetal position, taking up two seats with no shame whilst simultaneously panting.
It's like God tapped him on the shoulder and said "You are now capable of giving world shattering, tear jerking head."
All I know is when I checked my phone this morning google translate was open with "help the cow ate my robot" translated to French
Just because your gf gives mediocre bjs doesn't mean I can fill that void
Did I just pee in the Taco Bell parking lot?
Yep. But do you remember wiping with my quesadilla?
hey if my parents say thanks for the meatballs just go with it ill explain later
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