Don't worry about later. I already pre-ordered a pizza for a 1:45 delivery and told them to ignore any calls from your number.
You're getting good at this, you know that?
I'm reading about reasons for wearing clothing. IS THIS COLLEGE OR PRESCHOOL?
Springtime is officially here. I just used pool water to fill up the bong
one of my coworkers is shitshow drunk, getting naked. she's about to ride the bull.
i was just going to ask if it would be cool for me to come and have a beer...
it's total chaos here. i may ride the bull... i'll be visible.
But then he started to talk about his wedding he wants and I quote " and yes parts will be choreographed"
I just realized that he was my first random hookup that didnt cause a massive breakup or divorce. Im starting to grow up
Her mom caught her drunk streaking when she was 12. Of course she's perfect for me.
i just was bootyclappin in front of homeless men in a back alley
He just sent me a winky face in the middle of setting up a drug deal. You don't do that.
Scratch one off the douchebag bucket list. Just saw a guy in a sesame street tshirt and a tap out hat. Didn't get the memo that big bird's trying to get into mma.
My catholic guilt is strong, but the alcohol is stronger.
I woke up and he was starring at me and then said "do you believe in miracles"?
Nothing says happy Monday quite like coffee and oral sex.
You seem like the type to go to a craft sale baked out of your mind. I like you.
I can't imagine a friend I would rather lose my virginity to in a threesome.
Randomize
