2:23 am: come sit on my lap i have a stick that'll keep you in place
look no pants
if I see one grey pube I'm spitting his penis out!
All I want in this world right now are Doritoessssss
OK. You going to get home safe? Who are you with?
Doritoesssssss
They have beer in plastic boots. How am I supposed to resist that?
Whatever. I indirectly made you cum overseas. Call it even.
Did you just say he wants to put a baby inside me?
I didnt realize how badly my legs were scratched up from power-fucking him in the bushes until kate dumped a bottle of vodka on me. that shit burnedddd
If it makes you feel any better, I had my finger up some guy's butt today... Dominatrix training, ya know...
I had one glass of wine then passed out for 4 hours. It's like I'm having a quarter-life crisis.
I just bought us acid. I'm like the drug tooth fairy. Get ready to wake up with a sweattart of acid under your pillow.
wearing my old cheerleader outfit to the bar was a great way to get free drinks. i should do this more often
My vagina is very pro this idea
Dude, I danced with Abe Lincoln! How could last night have been any better???
idk he wanted to trade sex for a triple order of hashbrowns
AND YOU SAID NO?????????
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