He lasted like 30 seconds. With a condom. I just expected more from the president of a frat.
My idea of sleeping together involves doing the Humpty Hump. Her idea of sleeping together focused more on being fully clothed on the opposite sides of a king sized bed.
He leaned in to kiss me and I dodged him but i fell on the floor. I guess I never got up cuz I woke up on the floor and he was in his bed
I have officially had sex in every room on my floor. Don't say I'm not an amazing RA.
How do you not remember?? She kept putting a dollar on her waistband and insisting it was all you can eat under a dollar
You know it's been a while when you're having to resort to positive conditioning to get women
I've got my wine, though it wasnt very good so I threw a sour patch kid in it
I forgot how weird my hair bleaches and now I'm a calico
You can wake up to my rainbow of failure
Dude are you wearing a trashbag right now?....
I seemed to have misplaced my pants...
I'm on the toilet with no toilet paper. When are you coming over? I'm contemplating on just staying here until you arrive.
We've been watching Scooby Doo and having sex for the past 36 hours, so life is great
Owwww. A manager/ employee sex scandal that DOES NOT involve me! SCORE!!!
Someone drank my pedialite!
YOU drank your pedialite. I watched you chase shots with it!
Are you drunk? You left me a voicemail at 5:59 AM of you making dolphin sounds.
Taking a walk while tripping face during Halloween time was a bad idea. I started crying bc I was so scared and hide in the parks playground.
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