That's intense
I should be sponsored by Trojan
Disadvantage of being gay..... my gag reflexes makes trying to make myself throw up extremely difficult.
do girls know yet that the best boners are in the morning?
your address is 607B right?
yeah why?
i need to tell the guy bringing over the flaming bag of dog shit where to put it
I just witnessed two drunk midgets fighting over a graham cracker. I can die happy now.
Just witnessed a circumcision at clinical. i suddenly feel a sense of reconciliation over every guy who's done me dirty...
saw a man tazing a raccoon in the middle of the street last night... normal
I just got turned down by a drunk fat chick. At my own birthday party. God hates me.
Considering the last guy I had sex with was gay, this was a huge improvement.
I just canoed to the bar. I am a skilled drunk paddler.
I couldn't figure out her damn button fly jeans... IM NOT A FUCKING ENGINEER
As yoda would say; A bitch, she is.
Just set the kids up with doughnuts downstairs so I could go up and masturbate uninterrupted. I am such a good mom.
All i want from a relationship is to get drunk watch pirates of the Caribbean and have sex
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