Hilbilly word of the day is cedar, example....I knowed she ain\'t got no panties on cuz I cedar cooter.
theyre doing shots to celebrate her boob jobs anniversary.
If a cop asks you "Where do you go for fun?", it's not a pick up line...especially if he just pulled you over.
So can we just skip dinner and I'll just pay you for a blowjob?
Don't tempt me, I need beer money.
My dealer, who also happens to be a male stripper, just invited me to watch him perform tonight. Boundaries buddy, boundaries.
I drove to Chevron at noon and the Hatian lady goes "Oh, nothing to drink yet white boy?"
No he's here. We were watching Harry Potter stoned as shit and he fell asleep with his head in my lap. I'll figure out what to do with him after Harry gives Dobby the sock.
There was a time I was reining queen of Sunday funday... And at that same time I also weighed 20 pounds more, had the morale of a spearmint rhino stripper, and woke up most mornings asking more questions than fucking Barbara Walters. I think I just wrote my own epitaph.
I mean he gave me an 'I owe you an orgasm' fist bump
Stop saying "make it happen". I'm not gonna say "hey, you should get naked with your sister and roll around together while I penetrate you both"
Yes. Do not say that. That will not make it happen.
Still. Make it happen
The international association of gay square dance clubs had a booth set up in the lobby of my hotel.
Girls at BYU need to learn how to handle a penis. I swear my date last night was trying to pull it off my body to use later.
He has blue eyes of sex and i am powerless against them
Doesn't tell me where my computer chair went but good to know
How bout we save the 40s for when we FINISH the project this time..
I don't like how my gyno is telling me how to live my life.
Randomize
