but what if he tries to talk dirty to me with the lisp?
on toilet. in drag. drinking coffee vodka. I regret nothing.
I'm too hungover to be in a fucking cow suit right now
just looked in the mirror, I fell asleep with a face mask on. At least drunk me cares that much about the condition of my skin
How can he have such a manly penis and baby hands?!
I was pissed last night bc this girl didn't want to have sex but offered to reimburse me for the condoms. That just made me upset
when the washing machine is on all the beer bottles jiggle and clink against each other... "drink us drink us drink us"
My brain is like scrambled eggs. If scrambled eggs were trying to escape out of my skull through my forehead.
I just want to meet whoever runs the hall cameras
hahahaha I don't. Watch one day i'll be walking along and someone will stop me and say "oh you're that one girl who is out. of. control." But then they'd probably give me a high five.
Is it inception if it feels like another uterus is going to burst out of my current uterus?
With 4 extra seconds dedicated to the dong.
These kind of text worry me.
Omg I should get on tinder just to get some edibles in town
i just want a beer and a blow job. is that so much to ask?
and i just want a ring so i can stop faking it. is that?
Wow first he impregnates you then he won't send you the sex tape you made together? Where has chivalry gone?
Hi I love you will you be up for a while!
That exclamation point was a drunk decision
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