I may not go down in history, but i will definitely go down on your little sister.
remeber the saying "bad choices make good memories" dude our bad choices dont even make memories.
The slutty girl scout law, revised for halloween 10: on my honor i will try, to serve my vagina and my shot glass. To hold back friends hair at all voming moments and to live by the sluttly girl scout law.
When you wake up in your dorm right outside your room with the key in the door, then you will understand my pain.
Hey everyone. This evenings celebration will commence with a cocktail hour at genghis at 830 to be followed with an upscale dining experience at taco bell at 10. All are welcome. This is not a joke. Thank you
is it cool if i crash at ur house this weekend again bro
yea dude but i wld bring a sleeping bag or something just in case. or u may just have to shack up with a woman or 2 cuz we hav 10 girls visiting/staying over at my house.
how did u manage to make sleeping with a bunch of girls sound like an inconvenience?
I'm driving up the street and can't tell if my ears are actually about to pop or not.
A solid 8.5 on the baked meter, I need to stop.
110% paid for our cab with a lap dance
Maybe I'll make your dreams come true and pee on you tomorrow.
You were sending me snapchats from a bathtub with your beer helmet on and your boobs out.
DROP EVERYTHING! Gatta go get tested for herpes, lets make an adventure out of it.
I buy a new bowl every time I get a new guy. It's retail therapy.
Buying drug test kits off amazon. And qualifying for amazonSmile donation to a kids hospital feels wrong and funny at the same time xD
I just caught my bangs on fire trying to lite a bowl while driving. Thank god it wasn't my eyebrows like last time.
He kept apologizing that the nerve damage makes him take a while to finish. Meanwhile he gave me 3 orgasms and a leg cramp
Only you could benefit from a reckless driver
Randomize
