So when exactly did I get naked and makeout with the statue?
why do married chicks ALWAYS cry after?
Its Shannon Doherty lazy not Forest Whittaker lazy
my roommate just said, "don't look at it, just put it iin your mouth"
For a day that started with shitting my pants, things turned out fairly well.
she was dressed as a doctor claiming that after she was done i would have a "permaboner"
I couldn't even finish, she was lounder and more annoying than DJ Khaled
Still can't decide which I'm more disappointed about: the blow job I gave him or the donuts I ate after.
No mixer. Vodka in yogurt?
Ugh I hate you, and the responsible adult life I pretend to have during daylight hours
can anyone on this campus do anything sober?
I woke up naked on his boat with a cowboy hat on with a boat cover over me... Thank you tequila!
he cancelled our romantic dinner reservations so we could stay home and watch a Rocky movie marathon and order pizza. i know i should be upset but i think i'm kinda in love.
We just saw two bitche in pink capris jazzercising down the road. On Thanksgiving.
I can't hang out with this penis. I'll start thinking I like the person it belongs to.
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