You can't special order awesome
The trick is to not slur when purchasing the condoms at 3am
You were playing beer pong by yourself. Finally someone took the ball and threw it into the bonfire. You sat by it, cried, and contemplated how to get it out. For 45 minutes.
She told me I was only the second guy she slept with. I told her she was only my second Megan.
There are about 5 pictures of my dog taking a dump on my camera and 20 of Brandon taking one for "comparison" reasons.
I have two stamps on my hand....ones from the bar and one is from an aquarium...care to explain?
Considering the last guy I had sex with was gay, this was a huge improvement.
Did you bedazzle the elevator?
All you need to know is that isn't jizz
Welp, I can cross "making out with a guy in a dress" off my bucket list...
Probably TMI here but I just rubbed one out while listening to thunderstruck, almost ripped my dick off.
Why is my fridge empty save for a basketball???
I just used my citation as a bookmark. Want a beer?
I saw a penis covered in glitter tonight.
Tell him that his phone is taped to the dog's stomach. Stop trying to call it because it makes him scared.
Randomize
