I was up until 12:30 making that damned grammar test for my freshmen then I caught myself running through the verb tenses when I was giving him head.
"I have sucked, I will suck, I will have suck, I am sucking..." I've never felt more like a nerdier slut than last night.
I just took boredom to a whole new level. I just auto-tuned and remixed today's western civ lecture
We're exchanging pot brownie recipes in my substance abuse class. This is going to be an awesome 7 weeks.
Funny how often beer equates to second degree burns on some portion of my body.
Tonight will bring shame to my future grandchildren.
I don't even know. I woke up in the bathtub with no shirt, covered in towels holding what appeared to be vanillia pudding mixed with captain morgan.
Come on. I'll make you hot pockets. Literally and sexually.
He was sleeping, but the way he was made him look like an adorable, fuzzy penis
I don't know what's more sad. The fact that I'm genuinely impressed about being sober for a whole 3 days or the fact that I want to get wasted in celebration.
I told him if he went to see magic mike with me I'd cover his eyes during the penis parts
Debating whether the Plan B I had this morning would go under breakfast or lunch in my food log.
I'm on the same pooping schedule as a professor I've never had. He now says what's up to me in the hallway
I've made a single handle of rum last like three weeks and my mom hasn't even acknowledged it.
dad is drunk and texting us pictures of bread
He started humming a moment like this when I was taking off his pants.
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