Until that no good dick sucking whore stays away from my boyfriend I am gonna start blowing all of his friends...
Yeah, I have to wait a few months then take a sample in, I asked the doctor if the sample could be wiped off my wife's back...i told her he said face only.
and honestly a story about how you met your future husband that DOESN'T include the words "creeped him on facebook" is really not a story worth sharing
hey, this is the drunk ass freshman from last night. thanks alot for helping me out last night, i'd probably be on some lawn if it wasn't for you guys! and my mom says thanks for talking to her
she acted like she'd never seen someone do speed off of a desk with a rolled up receipt. and she calls herself a grad student.
It feels wrong to have dick mouth at a family dinner.
There was a community pot of Ramen, and if you were in the pool you were either fully clothes or ass naked.
She's cheated on every boyfriend she's ever had with the same guy. She's like a slutty yo-yo.
I'm wearing the jeans from casino night. Tell me why I have a napkin in my pocket that says 'dont fear me'? I'm hoping it was just a coincidence.
I still count it as showing your tits. Even though the wall was the only one who saw anything. Your boyfriend was pissed.
so hungover. i just puked at the sight of the beer emoticon you sent me.
Making a me burrito to ward off the cold...and the aloneness of my vagina
Just woke up with an entire pack of Oreos in my cheetah onesie. I've been waiting for this moment forever.
Try to fuck my roomie AND steal my slippers: you are no longer my favorite cousin.
I bet he’d be surprised by the epic blow job he’d get if he stopped talking about his wife long enough for me to get in the mood
Randomize
