then for some reason i googled "how much to buy a cannon"
i dont know, i woke up and he was going down on me. i guess i can save his number
When you went through airport security you asked if the could check if a baby was in there. That drunk.
Found your pants in the mailbox
What were my pants doing in the mailbox?
I don't know but there's postage on them
naw. unless you want me to sit in a corner, not understand english and eat all of your cheese then i don't think it's a good idea.
You started a dance party so that you could steal their vodka and shouted "sailors out!"
I wish! That ended in 2001 when we all got collectively band from the Settle Inn. As a group we are also band from social events at the zoo. It's impressive really.
Are you high right now?
is that a question or a drake reference?
I gave you a piece of bread to sober you up. You wiped your face off with it and then gave it back to me.
Cute boy and deffffff wearing a HS shirt. I am getting too old to be inaccurate.
Well we had to pull over on a side street in town so I could throw up while moms were driving by with car loads of kids, I feel like I just performed a lil silent AA film for the childrens
Can you come pick me up and take me to breakfast then the police station?
Where's your car?
The girl I brought home apparently stole it
apparently while i was high i thought that putting a dinosaur temporary tattoo on my inner thigh would keep me from taking my pants off and having sex with him...
...it didn't...
Also, my old intern Lizzie whom you fed pizza to last night wants to hang out with you
All I’ve had today is sex and water. I think it’s time for tacos.
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