Loo but I'm already drunk TINIGHT! CAPS ATTACK
good. and stop kissing my girl you dirty slut.
i don't think she's still your girl..plus, she kept screaming "kiss me! i'm a lesbian!" last night so i think you're outta luck..
when we were having sex and i started crying and telling you i missed you..why couldnt you stop and tell me how you felt or make me feel better?you kept going...
I think his parents are learning english from the phrases I shout during sex.
Shark Week. Kick off begins Sunday. The drinking game has been upgraded to include jumping/breaching sharks and Jake's not allowed to bring the harpoon. Period.
btw he is cheating on one twin with the other. the main woman in his life has a mullet. I defiantly have either the coolest or weirdest uncle ever
My asshole is basically a geyser at this point. Minus the excitement. Plus blood.
That man gives me hope. I can't help it. And by "hope" I mean "wood."
Yes ma'am. At least you're a warning story I can tell to my kids in the future
Did we seriously just get into a fist fight over kit kats?
He is a sweet angel sent from dick heaven!
I'm planning our wedding on the computer and our threesome on my phone. At the same time.
You've hit rock bottom, swam around the ocean floor, and brought back silverware from the titanic.
Idk I've taught my 18 month old how to say nipple so kids aren't all bad
I have seen you puke and 5 mins later rock my world. So there is hotness there that average people will never see..
Randomize
