i wish swine flu would become a total pandemic so we cld be rid of all the people that are complaining about it
So I'm cool with the whole break up, but it sure is a shame we didn't get to use those handcuffs.
I cant remeber how long i've been laying here...it could be 10 minutes to a fucking day
theres a difference between trying to make someone happy and letting them fuck you in the ass
In the middle of having sex with me, she reminded me that I was supposed to call my mom that morning. My penis has never retracted so quickly.
I keep hearing lesbian porn and I'm the only one home. I don't think this is healthy
4 girls from the bar, me, strip basketball. here. NOW
Any time you can't remember a night, and you wake up in a sorority house, it's fucking worth it.
We celebrated our relationship by shotgunning beers on his lawn in our underwear. I may have to marry this man...
Called Apple, my penis pics are safe.
It's not vacation until I get called "disgustinly sexy" by an fat woman whose older than my mother.
My vagina is no longer accepting new clients.
Riding your boyfriend's dick for an hour then waitressing for 8 hours. Would not recommend.
I realize my mistake but don't you dare school me in cock, young man
All I remember is talking the cops into calling us a cab instead of giving us PIs while trying to wake up your passed-out-on-a-bench ass.
Randomize
