Too bad my picture didn't come thru. It was one of me naked riding a unicorn with a wizard hat and a magic staff. And the unicorn had wings. And me too.
And. No one ejaculated on anyones face. This is all wrong
at first i was worried but she assured me her frail vegan body would have no chance at conception.
I may be Daddy's little princess, but doesn't mean I can't be the blowjob queen.
i can't believe you just compared my dick to leprosy
she brought my homemade cookies with condoms taped to the box... im in love
I woke up to him pissing in their fireplace with fairy wings on.
Its not gay if you're best friends and there's less than an inch of dick in the picture. That's where the line is drawn
I told the cop to try walking in heels and he'd understand why I was walking home without then on. He told me he only does that on Wednesdays.
those were not strange pants with a really large waist band...it took me 3 days to realize I was wearing someone's sweater as pants
Monday funday. I brushed my teeth with antibacterial soap. hangover I did not have.
The ONLY reason I am doing laundry is because all my sweatpants are dirty.
I'm going to become fluent in fucking Belgian boys
Yeah I don't think your wife thinks it's a good thing that you're fucking your cousin.
Haha word. Sure I can do that. Help me find which bar has my pants and you'll get free tacos all week
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