My wife says its no good to have oral sex during pregnancy. So i guess pregnancy is like regular life.
I just saw grafitti that read "Mug The Fart Eater". Really, Memphis? That's all you've got?
Went home with a 29 year old from the bar. Life lesson: 9 year olds stay up late sometimes
She told me she cured her bulemia by popping hydrocodone after she ate. that way she would be rewarded for not puking. I like the way she thinks
I'm going to start giving girls scratch off lottery tickets when they leave my place in the am. That way they have a chance of not regretting the night before
Are they engaged or just dating? Girlfriends come and go but the memory of sex at the pool last forever.
Freshman Move In Day, its like Christmas in August.
Dude, how the hell did you become an RA?
I was standing when I hit it. I barely made it to the couch before the walls started turning into people.
After this weekend, it looks come this holiday season I'll be walking in a winter abortionland.
No, I don't just love you because you have big boobs. I just wouldn't visit as often.
It's was about average. But he had a tat on his thigh that said "pull-out n' rollout" so I won't have to worry about a round two request.
so the kid in line in front of me at walmart just bought roses and a Plan B pill. Happy Valentines Day.
We need to leave a grand offering for the god of free booze and salvia.
Everytime I feel sad about the break up; I recall that she is a Bernie supporter and feel all better
Basically we had a threesome in one room and a fivesome in the next room. Its what I like to call a win win situation.
Randomize
