After he came all over my face, he proceeded to give me a high five. I can't even act upset because I always put myself in these situations. Did I mention D3: Mighty Ducks was playing in the background?
I told him I'm not paying rent anymore because he's seen my boobs.
Note: fake nails and fingering anus.... Not a good idea
Im making the walk of shame with half a box of pizza, its like when youre little and you get a goodie bag leaving the party
I JUST WANT TO WATCH PORN BUT THE CAT IS JUST SITTING HERE LICKING HIS BALLS. I CAN'T DO IT.
I actually enjoy jerking off to her facebook more than I enjoy actually fucking her. Just something with our generation
I don't care who it's from we're getting blown. It's a 3 day weekend anything can happen
There's jack Daniels coming out of my eyes instead of tears.
don't mind me. just hanging out in this cool air conditioned Babies R Us until the liquor store next door opens.
Although I'm glad you didn't let my climb in the sink, I really wish you would have let me pretend to be a duck in the shower for a little longer
I sent her a picture of Richard Nixon and said "these are the only dick pics I send".
You woke up butt naked, peed yourself said something about jumbo shrimp, and passed back out 10 seconds ltr..
Herpes is not a lady problem you can solve with shower beers and kissing boys
The last time I saw you, you were giving the stripper a lap dance.
Pretty sure I scared her away last night by putting a vodka tampon in my ass
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