It's sad that I have started checking out the ring finger before the rack...I'm getting old
She laid down on my bed and played "I want you to want me" on my laptop. subtle.
He painted his chest for the game... I just fucked an exclamation point.
She narrowed it down to 7 guys that could have gotten her pregnant.
I mean, we started to hook up but my asthma attack kind of killed the mood
It's sad that the best source of heat that I have is my vaporizer.
Between the plague n the counterfeit drugs we brought back from mexico I'm not thinking too highly of their country right now. Screw mexican homeless men.
Totally forgot we howled at the full moon last night... It's safe to say Tuesday Boozeday is my new favorite day of the week
I mentioned your name at this party and some girl started crying.
We watched game of thrones, broke up and I drove away blasting ridin solo while he dougied
I'm facebook/twitter stalking the guy I just slept with as he's passed out next to me. What a time to be alive...
i feel like if we ever had babies together they would just be drunk all the time
I'm actually pretty sure the amount of alcohol I drank last night erased memories from other times in my life.
honestly performing my own hysterectomy would hurt less than my cramps right now.
she said. She was going to, and I quote, "put her vagina inside my dick".
Randomize
