yea ive hooked up with like half those guys
and i've hooked up with the other half...when our powers combine, we are captain slutbag
I'm getting drunk watching the disney channel. Is this a main reason why we aren't together anymore?
Apparently shes in the bathroom puking but eating a pot roast she found in the fridge at the same time.
I love having hate sex.
I decided that $2 and a kiss on the cheek was a great tip for the pizza girl. No one is REALLY sure how much I've have to drink.
Totally forgot this... How weird was it when they were licking our faces
Police were closing down the bar due to gunfight and I was crying because they wouldn't let me finish putting temporary shamrock tats on my boobs
Nothing says "I support my fellow man" like taking your friends recently divorced dad to a strip club and bar hopping with us to get him laid by an upgrade.
I'M SO WET FOR FREEDOM
antibiotics and champagne: breakfast of champions
Well if your hearts not big enough, your penis certainly is. Just have a threesome
Baked goods and tits. Hard to go wrong there.
He broke his arm in a fistfight with the bouncer. it was neat.
I'm so horny right now but I JUST put my fuckin lasagna in the oven
Obviously you're feeling a little sexually frustrated.
I consider humping a stranger every ten minutes when I walk in the street.
Randomize
